Bnpositive Communication

Some of these sayings really remind me of the stuff that comedian Steven Wright does. I love this sort of stuff and received this in an email today. Thought I’d share them with you.

• I had amnesia once — or twice.
• Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
• I am neither for nor against apathy.
• All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
• If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
• What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
• They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
• Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
• Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
• One nice thing about egotists…they don’t talk about other people.
• My weight is perfect for my height…which varies.
• I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not sure.
• The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
• How can there be self-help groups?
• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
• Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off, or on for that matter.
• Is it just me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?